so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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