love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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