All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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