So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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