shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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