i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
