my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
