He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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