I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
