I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
