This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize