the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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