unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize