worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
