"it" just moved
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
