We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
