His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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