Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
