planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
