Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
