Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
