six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
