I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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