Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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