He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
