i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
