i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
