omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
