u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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