is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
