We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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