Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
