My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
