she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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