Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
