I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
