Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
