OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
