im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize