Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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