hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
