First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
