what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
