it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
