Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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