so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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