break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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