So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
