either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
