just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think people are normalizing furries
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
