Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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