Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
