Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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