so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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