You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
