I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
