just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
