What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize