I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She announced her abortion via fbk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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