i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
